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M.E REALITY

‘Comparing M.E to a simple case of ‘fatigue’ is to compare the bite of male lion with that of a kitten; clearly, they’re completely different in intensity of pain and physical effect’ djl

The reality of developing and having M.E is vastly different to all the BS spread in the media by psychologists and even the very institutions claiming to be ‘Health Care’. The falsehood of ‘can’t be bothered to do anything’ ‘feeling tired’ ‘Yuppie Flu’ ‘all in the mind’ and more, is simply nonsensical garbage.

Given that M.E is a neurological condition that primarily affects the brain and nervous system and that all other bodily functions are regulated and mediated by the brain and nervous system, it stands to reason that people who develop M.E often present with a wide range of symptoms; many of which are consistently found individual-individual, some of which are not. The symptoms listed here are what severely affected (and still affect) me today and aren’t meant as an absolute understanding of M.E, rather as an example. These symptoms were not present prior to the acute Liver infection. The main point to note is that: ‘they are all made worse by forced or voluntary physical and mental activity, whilst fluctuating in severity day-to-day’. They are not related to, or stimulated by external events that can be claimed as ‘of psychological origin’. On the contrary, they are constant in fluctuating degrees of severity regardless of circumstance. Intelligence itself dictates that nobody would consciously choose to develop M.E given what is involved day-to-day. For, to have M.E is to truly understand torture, and to survive, to embody the courage, will, perseverance, determination and strength of a lion.

NEUROLOGICAL DYSFUNCTION

Complete memory loss, slurred speech, blurred vision, intense and persistent tinnitus (ringing in the ears), loss of balance function, inability to concentrate, or process information clearly, uncontrolled eye movements, over-reactions of all senses to sound, light, motion, smell, taste, temperature changes, chemicals etc, sense of brain being compressed in skull with associated constant, unrelenting migraine headache for years on end without relief, severe spatial disorientation, loss of emotional stability and conscious control of emotions, vivid dream states when sleeping, irregular and disturbed sleeping patterns, insomnia, loss of academic intelligence, perception, understanding and logical reasoning ability, twitching of facial muscles, distinct change in painful sense in brain, uncontrolled sense of falling and movement in brain, loss of stable temperature regulation, severe dehydration.

NERVOUS SYSTEM DYSFUNCTION

Chronic and persistent pins and needles in hands, feet and legs, made severely worse by physical and mental activity, uncontrolled muscle twitching and spasms of a disseminated (widespread) nature,  sensitivity to being touched/any pressure place on skin (particularly on thighs).

INTERNAL ORGAN SYMPTOMS

Continued and severe Liver/abdominal congestion/swelling/dysfunction, sense of congestion in chest and back/spine, nausea, indigestion, vomiting, food intolerance, severe allergic reactions to sugar/alcohol, yellow/green slime on tongue, irregular heart palpitations without warning/pain in chest, shallow breathing associated with abdominal congestion/bloating, poor circulation of blood, blood in stools and nose bleeding, passage of hot mucus in urine, uncontrolled abdominal gas and activity outside of what is normally experienced.

GENERAL SYMPTOMS

Muscle pain and weakness/loss of endurance/strength particularly in thighs on standing, days of being chair bound after voluntary exercise, fungal nail infections/loss of fingernails, easy exhaustibility and inability of body to appropriately react to any prolonged/intensive mental/physical demands placed upon them, common relapsing of intensive symptoms, inability to walk long distances, extreme heavy sensations in all muscles after relatively short period of physical/mental activity, persistent chronic pain in joints, extreme pallor on face/very black circles under eyes/ yellow/bloodshot eyes with soreness.

PERSONAL

Long-term isolation, sense of alienation due to wall of medical/social scepticism at hands of ‘friends’ family, GP’s, Psychologists, work colleagues, general public, some ‘complementary’ health practitioners, loss of income, career prospects, hobbies, pain of having M.E daily for 10 years+ now, accumulated debt in search of ‘a cure’ without resolution to M.E, loss of faith in medical practitioners and some ‘complementary’ modalities, inability to work to earn money, prospect of constant assessment by ATOS medical examiners/having to justify M.E all the time, personal integrity called into question, M.E accused of being ‘all in my mind’ despite overwhelming physical symptoms and duration, breakdown of family relations, dependency on partner, sense of frustration at presenting situation, sense of betrayal and mistrust to psychologists and medical establishment/social care systems given negative experiences at the hands of these institutions.


‘All I need is one good reason; nothing more…’ i


i Bob Mould ‘One Good Reason’ Black Sheets Of Rain, 1990.




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